How much is too much?

potato

Looks a little dry compared to the one I mashed up, but this looks like it lacks butter…

So I’m testing out how much I can eat without making myself physically sick. And what things I can eat right now while on TPN. Since I don’t actually need to eat. I could just… not. I could just drink. But I can’t not eat… I like eating. It’s yummy. So last night I decided to try a baked potato. Potato didn’t bother me before anyways.

Just a simple baked potato, cut in half, with butter and a little bit of salt, mushed into basically mashed potato(not unlike the pic I found) with fork by yours truly before I ate it, and chewed thorough anyway. Of course it tasted so delicious to me…. I didn’t know when to stop. I should have just had one half. But I ended up pretty much eating it all… minus the skin obviously since skin is a no-no for us with CD/IBD usually. And that was a bad idea. I had a potato food baby for hours after. And felt kinda sick. But I didn’t hurl at least. Had anti sickness meds and just breathed through it…. My stomach’s size is still not what it was. When I could gorge myself on all the things T-T. I wish for those days again… when I don’t have to portion control… like a little calorie counting dieting biatch…(no offence…)

I blame not being able to eat anything for 2 weeks. Hot food after so long T-T anything after so long. Tastes so good. So satisfying. But I have only myself and lack of self control to blame. I shall know better next time. I shall just snack lightly and not eat full meals. I don’t need to eat full meals. TPN is giving me everything I need. For at least 3 weeks by the sound of it. And if it works, packs pounds on, makes my hair thicker again, makes me healthy again, I do not mind so much. Long as I get my laptop. And maybe a day or two of day leave or something… I’d like some freedom. I didn’t even get to see Frozen at the cinema before this whole debacle….

Oh, time to be hooked up to the next bag of TPN I think. Laters!!

I would kill for a ham and cheese toastie from Costa or some tinned ravioli right now…. (I’m a classy girl, tinned ravioli is all it takes to please me ;D)

Ham-and-Cheese-Sourdough-Panini

ravioli

Gawd that ravioli looks good…. I don’t even care what’s in it at this point…. I’ll usually have beef or veggie tinned kind, since that’s all we have, not sure we ever had fresh kinds of ravioli in the house lol. It was always a back up food, on toast at lunch on weekends sorta thing. I wonder what a ravioli pasta bake would be like…. just like… a couple of tins of ravioli in a oven tray/tin thing, layered with some extra mince and cheese and stuff… and maybe a crispy topping of something, breadcrumbs or whatever…. maybe add some sheets of lasagna pasta for good measure and extra carbs…. gawd… how yummy could that be? In a quick studenty food sort of way? XD The way my mind works sometimes… I can see it…. in my minds eye…. the crusted melted cheese top bubbling as it’s fresh out the oven…. oh god I need to stop. BYE NOW.

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